We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Someone shattered a urinal.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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