Hey man sorry I got all grabby
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
