You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
