I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
