You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
