Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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