we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
