Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
