Already got asked if we're dating
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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