After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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