After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
