He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
