the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
