so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
