He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
