I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
