Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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