He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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