so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
