I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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