i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
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