now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
