who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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