I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
