Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Randomize
