Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize