no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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