I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize