one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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