where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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