if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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