Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
