I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
