Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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