If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
birth control should be required to get into college
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
