I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
