To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
