i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
