people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
