I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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