thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I want to fling myself into the sun
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
