i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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