I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
