A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
