I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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