paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize