I think my vagina is haunted
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
