We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
