No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
