Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.

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(310): View more from California

Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils

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(315): View more from New York

Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.

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(310): View more from California

how was it?

(1-310): View more from California

he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"

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(972): View more from Texas

I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude

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(256): View more from Alabama

I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?

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