No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you didnt know i had herpes?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
