Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
