i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
