Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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