Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize