I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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