Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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