and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
