if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
